On Turning Older + Wanting More

“Alex, what are you going to do on your birthday?”

If I had a dollar for every time I got this question and its variations in the days leading to my birthday, I wouldn’t have to work after this pandemic. For the first time in years, I do not feel any anxiety or have the need to dissect my life and point out all the things I could be doing better at this age. It helps that everything is slow-paced at the moment.

Growing up, I had a clear image of what I wanted life to look like in my mid-twenties, being married and having my first child were top two on my list. Now I’m just trying to make it past the daily hurdles of adulting and the challenges that come with living as a woman in Lagos, Nigeria. My 12-year-old self would never have thought curtains would be so damn expensive and ‘ashewo’ would cease to have its intended effect on many Nigerian women.

The most important thing growing older (and hopefully, wiser) has taught me is, never be afraid to fail. Last year, I decided 2020 would be my gap year, the year I take a little break from my career projections and channel my energy into trying out all the other things that make me happy. I started building a lifestyle company with two of my favorite women and I’m excited for the things we’ll do with it in the nearest future.

If there’s anything this COVID-19 pandemic has made clearer, it’s the importance of focusing on the things that bring me joy instead of dwelling on the minor irregularities that do not matter in the grand scheme of things. In no particular order, here are the five things I want more of going forward:

1. To earn more. I know I possess skills that can help me earn more than I currently do but laziness and unnecessary sentiments keep holding me back. That is going to change.
2. To love more. If you read my 2019 Review post, you already know I was open to new relationships for a very brief period last year. Unfortunately, I clammed up. Now I feel like I’m ready to try again. To love more. In friendships and relationships.
3. To travel more. I like the look of surprise on people’s faces whenever I tell them I’m only interested in seeing African countries at this point in my life, it’s priceless. I’m finally going to prioritize my cross-country travel after I tick Cape Verde off my list.
4. To give more. I love the feeling I get when I give. I think it does more for me than the recipients of my kindness so I’m going to focus on giving more of my time and resources.
5. To be more active in my friendships. I often feel like I do the barest minimum in my friendships. My friends aren’t complaining but I know I need to do better. And I will.

Cheers to growing older and saving money on celebrations because everyone has to stay indoors.

 

Love,

Alex.